A Minute for Parents

Summary

A Way to "Fireproof" Your Relationships

Article

By JoAnn Hibbert Hamilton

I have been convinced for years now that building meaningful relationships both in a marriage and with each individual child is imperative.

What a pleasant surprise it was when a good friend dropped off the DVD, Fireproof, which dealt with relationships. I loved it! What more can I say? I want to recommend it to every family. It provides a good reminder for couples. The same techniques work on youth

As you watch it, at first you will think it is only about a troubled marriage, but soon you will find it exciting and interesting. You will see a thread of pornography-use wind throughout the movie, but it is tactfully and appropriately handled. It is not the main focus of the DVD but could generate some healthy family discussions if you choose to show it to your family. I would recommend that you see it first so you can make a wise choice.

The rating is PG. I didn’t hear any language problems but be aware that it centers somewhat on a journey to building a relationship with God. I didn’t find this overdone or soliciting in the approach the movie took.

People used to ask me how I could influence in positive ways the troubled youth that I worked with. The answer is that I learned to build a relationship with them, and then they would listen to me. So often in the process of rearing children, as parents we can alienate our youth. They stop listening and we lose that power to reach them. This DVD shows a step-by-step plan that a husband uses to try to reestablish a lost relationship. It is true to life in that it doesn’t work for some time. Oh, how I can relate that to youth, but if and when the relationship cliques, you can begin to communicate and rebuild.

One youth I worked with was gang related. How did that happen? He came from a good religious family that loved him. One day as a teen his folks took him with them as they went to some parent teacher conferences. The young man drew beautifully and yet he was flunking his art class. He and his parents listened to his list of faults as the art teacher explained each one.

Then they went to a science teacher. This young man was also failing that class. The teacher put a periodic table up and asked the young man for information from it. His answers were all incorrect. Everyone got angry. The boy stormed out of the classroom. Just outside was a local gang member who put his arms around this young man and understood his frustration. The young man told me later that at first he felt guilty as he did the things he did that week with the gang, but after that first week, he felt nothing.

After being in the gang for a number of months he ran into a situation where he could check to see if he was colorblind. He found that he was. Why was he failing the art class: because he was colorblind. Why did he read the periodic chart wrong: because he was color blind.

Why did he call me and ask for help: because I had built a relationship with him when he was in my seminary class. And why could I guide him back to the family that loved him: because of the relationship I rebuilt with him while he was in my home.

I am aware of a 13-year-old boy who loved this DVD after he got through the first 10 minutes. Fireproof could potentially bring a lot of happiness into a lot of homes.